81 comments

Damn dat’s ass!

Studying to become a hustler.

Hilary Clinton sure knows how to campaign!

And though we’ll probably never meet, I’ve seen you nude and on your knees.

“wow i don’t remember doin that”

photographicjournals@yahoo.com

hit that, hit that, that too…

“Not quite the hardest rapper, but he’s workin’ on it!”

or

“A true Hustler…”

or

“…Ain’t that somethin?”

AbstraktProfSC2@gmail.com

A pine tree air freshener sandwiched in her hairy clam?

Hm…my best friend’s girlfriend is pretty fine.

“BALLS DEEP (SMACK, JIGGLE….)”

This brings new meaning to the term “fish-eye” lens.

I thought Anna Nicole was dead? Oh, right she is…That’s fucked up! They are STRETCHING that bitch!

Wow Eminem and 50 really will do ANYTHING to make a dollar

“When you’re surrounded by bush and don’t know what to do..”

Hmm…She’s a SUZIE alright! Damn…I think Immortal already put this dirty dirty bitch in her death bed HAHA…US PERUVIANS DUN FUCK AROUND! White women LOVE US!

Tulgat89@yahoo.com

Bitches, Bitches less talk, more pussy!!!

This article is probly the truest thing ive ever read, so well written, so inspiring.

1. Where else would such a driven man get his motivation?

2. The grustle has got to come from somewhere…

“Oh Shit, I can’t believe they published that photo i submitted but did they have to put my face on Ms. Decembers body?

“A La la la la la life is wonderful”

“I can’t decide whats better, this girls body or my flows”

“SPANKY is tonedeffs favorite little rascal”

Damn! Nice pair of……..eyes

“And on the 6th day, God made ho’z, and they were magnificent.”

Hmmmm, That woman would be a mighty fine model for my next music video, maybe it will build more fans like on MTV.

OH I got another one, I hope I’m allowed to enter two…

“Don’t imagine a tragic end to the porn when there’s not/
You gotta try to beat off no matter how fucked up the crotch”

….yeah.

sighs “Just another assless night…

“Tonedeff – Loves Bush More Than Bill O’Relly!”

“Look at the turd-cutter on that one”

She likes walks in the park too? Neat.

Thats why I wear my wedding ring baby.

I think I can see her birth canal, impressive.

Damn…well at least we know HOW Jamie Lynn Spears got pregnant…

geraldgreen525@aim.com

I never would have thought this scratch and sniff idea would work for Hustler… I stand corrected.

Im sure glad i got a chance to grease dat ass before the lollapalooza tour

Now that’s hustlin’.

What an interesting article, I never knew the interesting jobs these girls have!
I bet she gives GREAT oral presentations.

“hmmm, this could be the next font face for my myspace”

You better watch your girl. Cuz I’m a pervert.

“Hustle Then Flow Thats My Motto”

“How is she doing that”?

“I like me some bush.”

And the survey says, “I’d hit it!”

Tonedeff: Always Appropriate.

‘Hmmmmm….I would fuck Mandy Moore up the ass’

“waxed or shaved???”

“call that number to increase my penis size??”

“HA she gained weight “

“Got Beef?”

“Workin’ with a full mag”

“Frontals: not Fronting”

“Facial expressions”

“Hoes, Hustling and the allmighty Holler: The Tonedeff Story”

“Proof is in the puddin’”

Got a million of em.

Fuck ‘Rolling Stones’ magazine, this Hustlers chick wears QN5 tshirt

I’d do her without a condom.

Tonedeff: He reads it for the articles.

Hmmmm he got my good side in this one (but not exactly her best side)

Understanding: So THATS why my brother married her.

I wonder if they can tell that I’m really reading the sheet music to “Boys For Pele”

She is most definitely the new spokesperson for Tonedeff Bra & Panties, can you hear me now?

“Archetype: 5 mics”

Yeah, Hustler reviewed it. Let’s pretend for a moment.

“This is going to end in tears.”

“So that’s what a nuva ring looks like!”

“Tonedeff: 2 Girls 1 Cup # 1 Fan”

“Who knew Vida Guerra could grow a beard?!”

“Damn 5 out of 5…her pussy is 5 steps ahead of the game.”

“Her shirt says No Rich Relatives, she must be lying with tits as fake as those.”

“Gotta teach THAT one to the Mrs. later.”

Brand new cover of Tonedeffs book: “Through Pain & Heartbreak I Found Away Through”

That’s a great photo…great contrast between the serenity and public theatre of the park and your inner pervert. I have a few entries:

“Hustle Much?”

“Leena Bangz?…Apparently!”

“How U Doin’?”

“It’s 10 AM…do you know where your children are? Tonedeff does!”

All joking aside the winning caption is:

“Turn the page to the next chapter: Tonedeff”

To paraphrase:
Hollerate!!

up and coming…

stiff competition

Mmmm, dark twat

The new see-through Math book! Now parents can see when their kids aint learning shit!

Second that “Tonedeff: He reads it for the articles”

I’d like to park my bike in that trunk…..

-Hmm… I really need to convince my girl to do… that, and maybe this too…

-Sooo.. It’s only 49,99$ to subscribe for a year?

-Tonedeff : A man of a few words

I guess rockstars really do get all the groupies…

“Damn, Leena Bangz ain’t so bad after all.”

Tonedeff: No spaces… but a fan of gaps.

Tonedeff is reaffirmed, “White Women Love Us,” as he scopes the QN5-Logo-Bush-Shaving Contest.

“Where the white women at?!?” –courtesy of Blazing Saddles

So that’s the clitoris….

Even Tonedeff can learn something new everyday.

Finally . . . somebody reviewed my album.

Shit! Did I leave the coffee pot on?

So that’s how my mother payed the bills.

When you’re surrounded by bush and don’t know what to do..

Now those are some gates.

I’d like to get a wiff of those panties.

Got Perversion?

houstonze@yahoo.com

“Surprisingly, that cesarean scar looks rather inviting.”

Tonedeff: No dash, two Fs, no spaces. Wow, they got it right.

eww… these pages are all sticky… goddamnit pack! get your own copy

or

just hurry up, come on…

or

…if you read it, you will come….

Her brown eye?….I dont get it! her eyes are both green!!

Got a few…

1. “Dirty Acres” was my second favorite thing that had “Georgia” on it this year.
2. I love being in the backyard…it’s the golden doorway to nature.
3. I love the summertime…sunshine, trees, emotionally unstable nude girls. It just goes by so fast.
4. Let’s cut to the chase, ma-there’s a reason why rubbers exist and it’s for The Asshole of the Month.
5. I certainly snatched worse from the jaws of Hell.
6. I remember when Susan Sarandon and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s breasts meant something….wait, no I don’t.

“I knew I should’ve asked for a fluffer in this shot”

Let’s see. It says here: “Instructions. In. Out. Repeat as neccassary”

Tonedeff: Impressive
——-

Please login or sign up to comment

Forgot your password?

Not a member, yet? Join now

close

To request an account, please email chris@qn5.com with the username you’d like to use. Thanks!

close

Please login

Forgot your password?