I’m sorry, mom.

While I was in Zurich, Switzlerland with CunninLynguists during the Dirty Acres EuroTour – I had a ridiculously high fever and was completely in a semi-catatonic haze. I had been fighting the flu since Paris and I had been managing to push myself through my 45 min sets. It had just progressively gotten worse and worse with each show, and by this point, it was about to consume me entirely.

Ya know that feeling where you’re trying desperately to wake up from a dream but can’t? It’s like watching your life through a film camera running at a slow frame rate. I couldn’t hear my own voice in my head – only through my ears. Anytime I tried to speak more than 5 seconds at a time, I’d black out a little bit due to the dizziness. I honestly felt like I was going to die or end up in a hospital. I’ve never felt that way before nor do I ever want to get to that point. Hell, it took me 3+ weeks to fully recover AFTER I got home.

Yet, this particular show was booked by a heavyweight promoter and I didn’t want to look like I was a scrub. Even SHE was telling me I looked terrible and didn’t think I should go on. But we had no openers, so despite my best judgement, I decided to be a professional regardless of the consequences.

I honestly don’t know how I got through my set. I just went into auto pilot mode and kept the movement down to a bare minimum (if you’ve ever seen me perform you know how difficult that is for me to do). I couldn’t scream…anytime I did I blacked out a little bit. All my multi-bar rolls somehow managed to squeeze themselves out of my lungs. I really don’t remember most of it. I just remember panicking in my head that I was going to pass out on stage and end up on YouTube. Of all the things to be concerned with – my health, passing out, my life, dying in a foreign country, Mrs. deff – I was worried about collapsing on some kid’s cell phone camera on YouTube.

What the fuck has this world come to?

So, when I got backstage, post-set…I regained about 10% of normal consciousness. I suppose the cold sweat I broke out into on stage helped to cool down the fever enough for me to feign direct eye contact people. I was approached by this cat who has a YouTube channel that consists of all jokes told by the artists that roll through Zurich. JokeTV, it’s called.

The video above is classic Tonedeff – trying to please the world and entertain, regardless of my situation. Not being able to think – period – I used the only joke I know. I’ve told it a million times… and it never seems to lose it’s edge. But it’s still in hella poor taste. Perhaps, I should learn some knock-knock jokes?

Hollerate.
Tone